I have seen some real "quacks" when it comes to my never-ending search for a psychiatrist. Most of the time I am just picking them off a provider list from my insurance, so it's literally a blind date. The good docs I hear about in my community seem to have long waiting lists, and when I need help, I need it now. So I settle for the losers with open appointments, and boy do I pay the price.
The last psychiatrist I saw met with me for a whole hour without looking me in the face. Her whole process was to hand me a quiz, play on her computer, and refill my existing meds without asking how they worked for me. Her comments were all about the extremity of my depressed life, the worthlessness of my unemployment, and the my failure to have found the right med cocktail by age 24. Well, Dr. Pamela Jones, that is not what I'm looking for. You're fired.
Unfortunately I was in a weak state and ended up giving this horrible bitch enough power that by the end of the session I walked out wishing that on my drive home I would be hit and killed by a truck. When that didn't happen, the next weeks were filled with thoughts of death and hatred for this woman and for myself. Don't people get into that profession because they care and want to help others? I wish! I haven't yet met with one psychiatrist who made me feel cared about, important, or sane.
I've learned the importance of getting my needs met, so I complained to her office and got set up with another doctor, another mystery woman whom I shall meet tomorrow. I regret giving the first doctor so much power over my state of being, that I am determined it won't go that way again tomorrow. So I'm going to begin the appointment, not her. I'm going to outline what I'm looking for in a doctor, a treatment plan, and a future. But this time, if I don't get the vibe, I'm walking the hell out, and slamming the door.
These doctors don't rule our lives. They are supposed to work for us. But why are most of them such assholes? And what happened to the notion that you could conversate with them about your needs, not just your symptoms and current mg doses of whichever. I'm sick to death of this whole process, but I can't give up.
Part of the thought of wanting to die after my last appointment was the impending notion of having to look for a new doctor AGAIN. But that work is over now, and I just have to show up tomorrow and be an assertive patient. I won't be walked all over again, this time it's going to change. I encourage everyone to recognize their needs and make aggressive moves toward satisfying them. Let's see if I can practice that tomorrow.
Our Mummy, Marie Molloy: 1957 – 2023
9 months ago
5 Comments:
Been there, done that. More than once. I'm so glad you're feeling so assertive and I hope all goes well. If you give them too much power over you, it's a recipe for disaster.
Good luck!
I dont have a psych but I probably need to look into getting one. I am kinda having trouble getting over the whole tell some stranger your story face to face thing. Dailystrength.org is really helping me though. I love this blog. so cute and entertaining!
I've been sooooo lucky with my psychs. My first try, I hooked up with two wonderful women who taught me to deal with my abuse issues, then diagnosed my bipolar. My first MD sucked tho, he was a troll who saw me for 15 minutes and wrote scripts without paying any attention whatsoever to what I thought or wanted.
When I was admitted to a (private) hospital a couple of years ago, I found someone I could work with, who listened to what I wanted from my treatment, and worked with me to achieve that.
Hello Annie,
Yeah. There are a lot of great pretenders out there. But I've read about this counselling site in the web. They are true blue professionals for the field.They offer various counseling strategies for our needs. I hope that this would be of help. All the best for your pregnancy. You'd be a great mom! :)
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